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Civilian casualties update
 
 
  Saturday   October 21   2006       05: 05 AM

On an almost daily basis, when Gordy and I are in the car, or we are just chatting, I keep saying how much I miss the Colorado "Coale.Valdez" family, and how I just can not WAIT until Robyn's visit [Jenny's a generous lady to agree to our proposition to have Robyn visit...], it's just seems so long away until Spring Break (March) -- so I just don't shut up about missing Miz Robyn so much!!! I even mentioned to Robin, who does my hair and is my part-time "shrink", that I feel like I'm on a "first date", and that when Robyn finally does visit, I'm afraid I'll disappoint her, and /or we'll have nothing to do if I feel sick, or have things to talk about. Robin (The Gallery Spa and Salon) said that she understood this, and that it's what the military families go through whenever they are parted. It was good not to feel so stupid in my jitters...thanks Robin!

Well, today (actually, it happened on Friday, I'm just writing about it now) something happened that made me feel like I was floating on air.

We've been trying to reach Jenny to see how she's faring since Williamdear has left; to just check in on her and let her know how amazing she is and how proud we are, and to also see if she has heard from Billiam, or got his snail mail addy so I can get some care packages off to him, and update his stats in "Treats for Troops" [still no address, but he's still heading for "Loyalty Base" in Sadr City on the 'morrow -- please to pray or send light or vibes as is your way to protect him and his fellow soldiers], and to do some recon for upcoming birthdays, holidays etc. re: sizes, and likes, and interests, and needs and plain ol' santa lists, and while Gordy was talking with Jenny, this was relayed to me...:

Apparently, our dear girl, Robyn, is rewared for excellent work at school when it comes to her report cards. So, she has been earning and saving money for the book sale they were having at school. She had earned $8.00 [methinks that's a lot of stellar work accomplished] and apparently, she ended up buying something for her Mom, Jenny, and, you guessed it, moi! "Me? She likes me! she really likes me?!?" to use Sally Field's infamous quote!!!

I am so blown away by this on tons of levels. Firstly, "our Robyn" has proven to be such a caring and empathetic girl. She's almost 8 (end of January) and what does she go and do? When the opportunity came, she actually spends her hard earned money on gifts for other people v. herself. Just how sensitive, loving and amazing is that? This girl has heart, a huge huge heart -- but that was never in question, it's just pretty special that she thought of others first.

Then, to have her think of me? ME? I know I love her to bits, but who knew she [dare I say it?] loved me too? Especially now that she is so darn far away and me not being "in her face" so to speak. I am so honored. My heart soars like an eagle....

If you've been to my blog at all before, you know a major fear of mine is my feeling orphaned, losing my family bit by bit, and the potential of my being a bag-lady-in-process -- a real fear thanks to health issues and living expenses, but I honestly take it to "phobic" lengths. So when I hear about this loving, beautiful, smart, creative human that I have had the good fortune to have not only met, but become a part of her life, is someone who actually cares for me too -- well surely you can imagine the joy I am feeling.

I am realistic enough to know that I still can't toss out the fear, but who knows, maybe I'll be proven wrong after all, and will have a family that cares for me beyond just being Gordy's "other" [and he, mine] maybe there are some people who might really care back, and know and feel my love that I have for them, and they will at least feel a positive difference in their lives because I was a part of their lives, and maybe a even some "loss", when I leave this earthly plane after all.

This is huge.

The love of a child, is awe-inspiring and mind-blowing. I love all this family, and their extended family, with all my heart. To me, they are my family, all of them. ..But I honestly didn't think that any of them, no one, would ever think fondly of me just for me "as is" (meaning because of my relationship to Gordy), let alone maybe have some love for me too...that they could accept me and choose me to be part of their family.

But as of today, well...

WOW


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